In addition, not just any warm fuzzy scene will do. The characters have to be having... an intimate moment. Fade to black is cheating, but yet it has to be suitable for a middle grade audience. The idea is to come up with a believable, yet tasteful and subtle scene.
So here's my entry. Don't blink, cuz it's only 32 words long.
His hair had fallen into his eyes, and she reached up to brush it out of the way.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you too.”
Um, okay. A little short, but I'm a YA writer. I don't do *cough* (love scenes). At least, I don't do them without surrounding them with lots of asterisks, small font, and crossed out words. But if you're curious how other writers met the challenge, go check out the other entries.
Of course, I can't end a blogfest entry without a shameless plug for the Alternate Version Blogfest, coming up on April 1st. Ever wonder what your WIP would be like if it were in a different genre, or written by a different person? Here's your chance to find out. Go sign up if you'd like to participate. I promise it will be easier than this challenge :-P
I am officially amused. Actually, I'm impressed. It's a scene, and we know what's going on. Very good, good lady!ReplyDelete
But I'm still amused.
Dang, you did it in 32 words. I hemmed and hawed for 600 and didn't do as well. Very, very good. And very...ah...clean. :)ReplyDelete
Short and to the point. I think you did a great job :)ReplyDelete
Short, sweet, and to the point--it's good!ReplyDelete
I lean more toward YA, too, but I don't know about my short stories...they go all over the place. I think the more I'm going to be more nervous that mine *isn't* right, the more I read other stories...
LOL I love this. LOVE it. Seriously, brilliantly done. I'm definitely cracking up. Nice way to follow the rules and come up with something very, very clever =)ReplyDelete
One word: AWESOME!ReplyDelete
I thought MY loophole was evil, but you--good lady--managed to meet the criteria with an elegant economy of words. *bows to the master*
Man...I feel like I beat my head against a wall for two weeks for no good reason. Why wasn't I looking for loopholes?ReplyDelete
Love the scene. It's very romantic, and I can tell exactly what's going on. *grins*
I'm impressed! Tasteful, emotive, and completely age appropriate :-)ReplyDelete
lol You definitely followed the rules. Wonderful entry.ReplyDelete
Very well done.
Visit My Kingdom Anytime
I like it! Nicely done :)ReplyDelete
You are brilliant lol. It was a very sweet scene, and you nailed it (no pun intended ;) in 32 words?! I bow to your awesomeness.ReplyDelete
Nice and well done considering the amount of words. You might even get comments longer than the actual scene. lolReplyDelete
Glad to see someone else write one that isn't like 500 words long or more.
Fantastic!!!! Wow, only 32 words and you explained so much. Like Kristin -- I bow to your awesomeness.ReplyDelete
Fantastic. Your build up was longer than the scene itself. Love it. Such economy of words, and yet you still get the idea across without any question. Bravo.ReplyDelete
Wow. Just wow. 32 words and this is brilliant storytelling. Love it. :)ReplyDelete
Great story in 32 words --Great job!ReplyDelete
Well done, Livia! Love this. Succinct and you met the challenge head on (sorry!) - awesome - and all in 32 words. You are the Hemingway of the PG love scene. :)ReplyDelete
awesome job, Livia! Really highlights the importance of word choice. (saw your wince tweet)ReplyDelete
That's the single most **efficient** love scene I've ever had the pleasure of reading. It works for me, bravo!ReplyDelete
It may be only 32 words, but they're a well-chosen 32 words, and I can completely imagine the awkweirdness.ReplyDelete
Seeing this made me jump in on one of these for once, though I used existing material - the scene I wanted to submit to group last week.
This is pure perfection. I have to say that yours has been the most MG including the real scene! Pat on the back. :)ReplyDelete
I think I just experienced Deja Vu reading that.ReplyDelete
Wow, thanks, everyone, for your nice comments. You know, alot of people mentioned that 32 words was impressive, but I think it actually made it easier to focus only on one moment. If I had expanded before or after a few paragraphs, I think I would have been banging my head against the wall too :-) I'm particularly glad to hear some people mention the emotion of the piece, because I wasn't sure it would come through.ReplyDelete
And, uh... (just realized that mom reads blog), glad that everyone was able to figure out that the scene was about moving furniture and dropping something on her foot... Um. yeah :-)
Haha, seriously, though, thanks for reading everyone!
Short and sweet,it was good. I'm a YA writer to and I don't do them either, but mine was so long. The exact opposite problem you had. Hehe. But I really did love this, it was great!ReplyDelete
This is very well done! It's warm and sensual even in such sparse language.ReplyDelete
Great moment! I hope it never happens to me *cough* ;-) It would be embarrassing... I mean, to drop a couch on a girlfriend's foot.ReplyDelete
Fantastic!!! Short and too the point!!ReplyDelete
ahhahaha you are adorable. and very funny.ReplyDelete
and I LOVED your [love] scene.
The "sorry" says it all. Well-played. *cough*ReplyDelete
No really. Very well played.
Short and sweet :) It makes every ounce of sense!ReplyDelete
Vivid, evocative, poignant.ReplyDelete