I love it when people see new discussion points in my examples. In my last post, I used a passage from Graceling to illustrate creative internal narration. If you didn't read that post, you may want to hop over to get the full passage and context.
Peta Andersen noticed something else about that passage:
Great examples - it's kind of cinematic, isn't it?
I'm wondering, though, about this section:
"She didn't see where Giddon came off feeling insulted. She didn't see how Giddon had any place in it at all. Who were they, to take her fight away from her and turn it into some sort of understanding between themselves?"
The rest of the text is so tight that adding "she didn't see" is distracting. Katsa doesn't need to explain that she doesn't see something because we're in her head. She doesn't need to frame her thoughts as if they were dialogue, either.
Cashore is a strong writer; if I had to guess, I'd say she left the phrase in for two reasons:
1. Cadence - spoken aloud, the lines sound better, and give the text a more aural feel.
2. Atmosphere/tension - the repetition builds tension, leading into Katsa' frustration with Giddon. It's almost like a refrain.
Thanks for the observation, Peta! Anyone else have good examples of selective repeating?
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